Taming the Tongue

James 3:1-12

September 13, 2015

Sticks and stones may break my bones

but names will never hurt me.

We’ve all heard that phrase.

It’s a childhood defense against playground bullies

that try to use words and taunts to hurt other kids.

I always thought that it might have

given someone the inclination to use

sticks and stones next, but still

the idea was that verbal harm wasn’t

as bad as physical harm.

James doesn’t believe all that though.

James, the writer of our epistle

feels that words can do plenty of harm.

We don’t know exactly who James is

he’s possibly the brother of Jesus

who was the bishop of Jerusalem.

James just identifies himself as a follower

of Jesus and he’s writing to early Christians

mostly giving advice on how to behave

as Christian communities.

He’s particularly interested in the actions of

Christians matching the beliefs that they claim

and this part of his letter,

he’s talking about talking.

He says what we know to be true,

the words that we speak to each other

do hurt - sometimes badly.

Many people that have been in abusive

situations say that the emotional and verbal

abuse are actually harder to get over than the physical.

  

James is specifically talking about talking

in communities and groups.

When we’re in a group of familiar people

words can get passed around fairly quickly.

As a pastor,

I will often hear things from more than one person

in church and I will recognize a particular turn of phrase

in everyone’s telling of that story.

For instance, someone in my previous church

left the one of the men’s groups angrily and

the leader described it to the senior pastor by saying

that “he just took his toys and went home.”

And then whenever anyone asked me

about it, I would say, well, I heard he’s not

participating in that group any more.

And they would say, “well, I heard he just

took up his toys and went home.”

Aha, you’ve been talking to Charlie

or someone else that’s been talking to Charlie.

Now that in itself isn’t bad, it could be very endearing

sometimes to see the paths of friendships and confidences,

in a church, but good and harmless words can spread quickly

And bad and harmful words can spread quickly too.

And in my experience, the bad words spread quicker.

James calls the tongue a fire.

And we’ve all seen how words can spread like

The Gossips, Norman Rockwell, 1948

fire destroying everything in its path.

The tongue can destroy a community when

it’s used to spread gossip.

Now sometimes we gossip in a sense because

we have concern for another person,

they are ill or suffering and we want to check in with how they’re doing.

But sometimes we just talk about other people

to entertain ourselves and impress other people.

We share confidences, secrets, or our bad impressions about people

that can harm trust and damage a person’s reputation.

The tongue can also be used to criticize,

to spread cynicism and self doubt.

We say things like, “That will never work.”

Or “Good luck with that.”

And if we say that enough, we all start to believe it.

And sometimes communities can be defeated by talk

like that before they’ve ever tried anything

And the tongue can also be used to spread fear and panic

we’ve seen this lately with a particular politician

who wants to lay every bad thing

in this country at the feet of immigrants.
That kind of talk might gather some crowds at rallies

but it also incites hatred and fear and sometimes

violence which we’ve already seen.

  

And of course, we all at times just say mean

and hurtful things to one another.

Either intentionally or unintentionally.

We criticize, call people names, we yell, we insult,

and usually we do it with the people we love the most.

  

Words are powerful things.

All of the greatest movements of this world

have started with words – good and bad.

Whether the words were “blessed are the peace makers”

or they were Martin Luther’s 95 theses hung on a door.

Whether it was Hitler’s first public speech in 1921

in which he said that there was only

two choices for the German nation:

victory for the Aryans

or victory for the Jews.

Or it was “I have a dream that my four little children

will one day live in a nation where they

will not be judged by the color of their skin

but by the content of their character.”

Words aren’t just merely words.

Words have changed the course of history.

But James says that our words

don’t just effect the hearers of the words,

he also says that they also effect the people that speak them.

What our tongues do, so the rest of us does.

He uses the image of a horse,

the bridal in its mouth guides the whole horse.

Or an udder on a ship.

The words that we speak reflect us

but they also reinforce us and manipulate us.

What we say can change our thoughts and behavior.

Positive words change us positively

and negative words change us negatively.

Our tongues guide the rest of us.

  

We are what we speak, and we always

have a choice we can use our words to

tear things down or we can use them to build things up.

Our words can hurt or they can heal.

All of us have made mistakes with our words,

Every single one of us have said things that we wish we hadn’t.

I’m a terrible offender.

My tongue often works before my brain has had time

to register and filter and think and consider.

We’ve all said things which have hurt others:

loved ones, strangers, friends and acquaintances

We’ve all torn someone else down

either inadvertently or on purpose or somewhere in between.

Thankfully one of the more useful

words we have been given is “I’m sorry.”

Mistakes and apologies and forgiveness

are one of God’s best tools for helping us grow.

In the beginning was the word

and the word was with God

and the word was God.

God is words. God said let there be light and there was.

The understanding of God and God’s people

and all the things of God come to us through words.

God cares what words we use with one another and the world.

Our tongues are a gift from God.

They can be used to bless God for that gift

and to bless one another too.

Let’s pray. God, we thank you for words.

Help us to use them to build others up, support them and help them follow you. 

Forgive us for those times when we have used our tongues to harm others. 

Help our words reflect your love and grace.